I'd Like to Teach the World to ZING

More Great Moments in G-chat History.

I've been spending some time cleaning out old emails from my inbox. Not because it's necessary, but because it's kind of fun to relive years-old melodrama through the cold, clear eyes of present detachment. Or to be reminded of how hilarious and brilliant my friends are - not nearly as dull as I tend to think of them.

This was a chat between Kirsten and I from January of '07, before I Love Yous, before Myspace In A Relationship status and, honestly, before either of us had any clue who the hell the other person was. In this chat you can see the fragile new bud of a relationship that would soon blossom into the truly sick-humored, smart-assed wonder it became.

Note: When Kirsten would write DAMN YOU in an IM, it meant that I got her to laugh out loud. This was a short-lived thing for us, as she almost never laughs out loud at anything I say anymore, ever.


Kirsten: I know. My brother called me right when they were announcing the nominees. I had it on while making peanut brittle.

me: all the stories of your late 20s are going to involve a version of the phrase "while i was making peanut brittle." like, so i was taking a dump, whilst making peanut brittle...

Kirsten: Impossible.

me: think about it

Kirsten: You love it.

me: You love saying "You love it."

Kirsten: DAMN YOU.

me: that felt so po-mo

Kirsten: po-mo?

me: post-modern. sorry. an unforgivable phrase.

Kirsten: I'll say. Makes you sound so ho-mo.*

me: LOL. brilliant.

Kirsten: Sometimes, I'm blessed with a tiny nugget of gold.

me: hence the making of the peanut brittle whilst dumping

Kirsten: what?

me: did i just go too far?

Kirsten: Now I realize what you mean. I'm laughing out loud now, literally. I try to keep that to a minimium while working....

me: I believe the phrase is: LOL

Kirsten: NO, it's not.

me: Don't fight it. Feel it.

Kirsten: Utter refusal

me: Speaking of utters, did you ever get your new bra?

And on and on it went...

* Disclaimer: neither Kirsten nor I think that homosexuality is any different than any other sexuality, and the use of the phrase "homo" in joking is done ironically, a douchebag posturing for comedic effect. A throwback to the days of gradeschool ignorance. For the same reason I say, "Nah, brah" a lot to her.