Friday, March 20, 2009

Stroking It

This past Valentine's Day was an anniversary of sorts for me. An insignificant-in-every-way-that-counts kind of anniversary that I did not celebrate with flowers or wine or any kind of gesture at all really, but one which I did take note of internally. You see, it was about one year ago this past Valentine's day that I decided to start blogging on a somewhat regular basis. On this blog, in fact. (That's right, I am now blogging about blogging.)

It was all Megan's fault really. She talked me into trying it out with promises of vast wealth and notoriety, and I took the bait. At the time I had a pretty slow-going office job with lots of down time in which my choices were: play copious amounts of online Scrabble or blog the hours away (I chose both).

I always viewed it as an experiment, a new form to play with. Something that I could try to express myself with more completely and accurately. My music has generally tended toward the serious and sad and I've been dying to let my goofy, profane and domestic side get a word in edgewise. What I learned was, there's a lot you can do with a blog. A whole hell of a lot.

I started things off light, with a blog about the fact that I've become co-branded with the Starbucks corporation. But things quickly took a turn for the dramatic when my eye nearly rotted out of my head (I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any vomiting that picture of my blood-soaked eye might have caused).

I made a cathartic confession to the internet with a heartfelt post addressing my crippling Scrabble addiction. (I am still seeking treatment.)

I had the pleasure of introducing the terms "bompliment" and "non-pliment" into the wider lexicon (to this day I receive requests via text and email asking for me to classify a statement someone has just heard as one or the other. Hint, if you get the sense that you've been insulted, it's probably a bompliment).

I entered into the high-stakes world of celebrity cooking with my own creation, Breakup Soup, to which one of my friends simply replied "wow."

I fooled dozens of Kirsten and I's friends and family with an April Fool's Day prank for the ages (my mom even wept, which made it funnier) and then regretted the whole thing the next day.

I reached my infantile lowest by posting an audio mp3 I made where I've edited Falcor from The Neverending Story to sound like the heavy-breathing pedophile he really is, ruining forever whatever innocence remained in all who heard it.

I reported on my conniving attempts to pry stock tips from the receptionist at my contract gig. (This went absolutely nowhere.) I also reported on my Michael Bay-esque car collision, in which my iced coffee straw was decapitated.

I let everybody watch my daughter turn five. And I also let them see what happens when you shave two fur manatees.

I moved out of the house I'd been living in (and regressing in) for eight years.

I watched in horror as Kirsten was corrupted by the vast wealth and power of her knitting empire.

I called out Shepherd Fairey on his bullshit before it was fashionable to call out Shepherd Fairey on his bullshit.

I reported on the end of cartoons.

I got overly worked up and spiritual about music for a second. Then I went and got overly worked up and spiritual about my life.

Coming on the heels of these overly serious posts, I should have posted something lighter, something sillier. Instead I capped things off just over the one year mark by making a bunch of people cry at their desks at work (which is better, I guess, than making them vomit at their desks at work).

So yeah. My there's a lot that you can do with a blog.

Thanks to anybody who checks in.


Kirsten said...

It still makes me go "Awww..." and yet laugh hysterically when I read about your SARS Plus. Let that never happen again!

Megan said...

What a great collection of stories from the past year. I'm so glad you're still keeping at it.