Thursday, September 4, 2008

A-Rock-a O-rama

I'm not going to elaborate on my cynicism about this presidential election. It's practically Christmas around here in white liberal Whoville and making cracks about whether or not Obama represents real change makes me feel like the Grinch. But when McCain countered the Democrat's monopoly on aesthetic appeal (Obama: handsome, cool, biracial) by putting Sarah Palin (attractive, woman) on his ticket I had a hunch and did something I haven't done in a long time: I turned on NPR. And listened to those intelligent, poised and generally even-handed newspeople lose their shit . The media isn't even pretending anymore that they haven't chosen sides. Not even pretending.

Today I picked up Claire from her third day of Kindergarten and tried to make small talk. It's like pulling teeth to get any details out of that girl. "How was your day?" "Good?" "Yeah? What did you guys learn?" "About butterflies." "Butterflies? Cool. What about them?" "Just butterflies."

After this went on for a few minutes and dead-ended in silence I turned the radio on for more Obamathon. I don't know why but I still assume that things like news radio are not being picked up on Claire's little anttena. But a few minutes in she announced: "My mama is voting for a-rock-a-o-bama."

"Oh, that's cool. It's actually pronounced BA-rack Obama."

"A-rock-a-o-bama."

"No, BA-rack Obama."

"A-rock-a-o-bama."

"Nevermind. So who are you voting for?"

"I'm not voting for anybody. I'm not old enough. But if I could, I would vote for a-rock-a-o-bama."

"Why? Because your mom is?"

"Yep."

"Is your mom right about everything?"

"Yep."

"More right than me?"

[enthusiastically] "Yep!"

"Fair enough."

[silence]

Claire: "That old guy only cares about rich people."

"That old guy's name is John McCain."

"I know that."

"Why do you call him 'that old guy?'"

"Because he's old."

"True. Well, would you vote for him if he was Santa Claus?"

"But he's not."

"He could be Santa. Nobody knows who Santa really is."

"He's not Santa Claus. He has short hair and no beard."

"Yeah, well, what if he is. I mean, Santa only has to do that job for about a week a year. He could grow his beard around Christmas and cut it the rest of the year. And besides, he's magic."

[she thinks]

Me: "Would you vote for McCain if he was Santa Claus?"

"No."

"Santa Claus! You wouldn't vote for Santa Claus?! After eveything he's done for you?!"

"Nope."

5 comments:

Joy said...

Haha I love it. :D Thanks for posting it. And I can't believe you wouldn't vote for Santa. I think by saying that you automatically go on his naughty list.

Daniel said...

No, you've got it all wrong. I WOULD vote for Santa. Are you kidding? Who wouldn't want to vote for such a giving president. But Claire is not having it.

Matthew said...

Santa Clause is most likely a republican for real. Is he really any different than a corporate executive? All of his low or no paid minions do the work for him and he gets the credit for their hard work. Now would you really vote for him? Not to be cynical or anything...

love,

Matt

Marie Lasferatu said...

Awesome! Man, I can't wait 'til the circus leaves town.

Kirsten said...

A conversation I had with Claire last night when I got home from covering Obama speaking in Farmington Hills (loosely):

(we're talking about what it was like, etc.):

Claire: So you went there instead of your meeting?

Me: Yes, it was more important to write about Barack Obama than the PTA.

Claire: He's.... (one eye on the TV) OH! I forgot what I was going to say (hands on forehead, spinning in a circle).

Me: We were talking about Barack Obama.

Claire: OH! Right! I was going to say that he's pretty awesome.