A-Rock-a O-rama

I'm not going to elaborate on my cynicism about this presidential election. It's practically Christmas around here in white liberal Whoville and making cracks about whether or not Obama represents real change makes me feel like the Grinch. But when McCain countered the Democrat's monopoly on aesthetic appeal (Obama: handsome, cool, biracial) by putting Sarah Palin (attractive, woman) on his ticket I had a hunch and did something I haven't done in a long time: I turned on NPR. And listened to those intelligent, poised and generally even-handed newspeople lose their shit . The media isn't even pretending anymore that they haven't chosen sides. Not even pretending.

Today I picked up Claire from her third day of Kindergarten and tried to make small talk. It's like pulling teeth to get any details out of that girl. "How was your day?" "Good?" "Yeah? What did you guys learn?" "About butterflies." "Butterflies? Cool. What about them?" "Just butterflies."

After this went on for a few minutes and dead-ended in silence I turned the radio on for more Obamathon. I don't know why but I still assume that things like news radio are not being picked up on Claire's little anttena. But a few minutes in she announced: "My mama is voting for a-rock-a-o-bama."

"Oh, that's cool. It's actually pronounced BA-rack Obama."

"A-rock-a-o-bama."

"No, BA-rack Obama."

"A-rock-a-o-bama."

"Nevermind. So who are you voting for?"

"I'm not voting for anybody. I'm not old enough. But if I could, I would vote for a-rock-a-o-bama."

"Why? Because your mom is?"

"Yep."

"Is your mom right about everything?"

"Yep."

"More right than me?"

[enthusiastically] "Yep!"

"Fair enough."

[silence]

Claire: "That old guy only cares about rich people."

"That old guy's name is John McCain."

"I know that."

"Why do you call him 'that old guy?'"

"Because he's old."

"True. Well, would you vote for him if he was Santa Claus?"

"But he's not."

"He could be Santa. Nobody knows who Santa really is."

"He's not Santa Claus. He has short hair and no beard."

"Yeah, well, what if he is. I mean, Santa only has to do that job for about a week a year. He could grow his beard around Christmas and cut it the rest of the year. And besides, he's magic."

[she thinks]

Me: "Would you vote for McCain if he was Santa Claus?"

"No."

"Santa Claus! You wouldn't vote for Santa Claus?! After eveything he's done for you?!"

"Nope."