Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Hard Way

I think the Feds are monitoring my house. Either that, or it's Palma parked in the white van out front, fingering his mustache and contemplating revenge. But if my house is under surveillance, the transcript of last night's tap would show that this happened, word for word.

The setup: I'm sitting on the couch computing while Claire is taking her bath. She's singing songs and speaking in voices, creating mini bath dramas with her dolls. I had just gotten deep into reading an article I found online when...

Claire: Daddy. I'm ready to get out of my bath.

Me: [distracted] What? Oh, ok. Hold on.

A minute passes.

Claire: I'm ready to get out of my bath daddy.

Me: Ok babe. Just one second. Give me a few more minutes.

30 Seconds pass.

Claire: Daddy? Are you going to get me out of the bath?

Me: [trying desperately to stay in the article] Yeah, Claire. Can you just hold on a sec. Seriously, just give me two more minutes, ok?

Another minute passes. She starts talking in doll voices again and then...


Claire: Do you want to do this the hard way or the easy way?

Silence. I know what I just heard, but surely she must have been talking to her dolls.


Me: Are you talking to me?

Claire: Yes.

Me: What do you mean? What's the hard way?

Claire: I keep asking you if you're going to get me out of the bath.

Me: What's the easy way?

Claire: You come right now.

1 comment:

Marie Lasferatu said...

Oh man, she is going to KICK YOUR ASS between the ages of 13-20. Godspeed.